


Dark clouds all around me

by Dandelion (yukitsubute)



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Hurt Tony, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nightmares, Peter stephen and Tony Are family, Supreme Family, Tony Angst, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Has Issues, Tony Stark/Stephen Strange parenting Peter Parker | Supremefamily | Strange Family, Tony-centric, married tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-09
Updated: 2019-03-09
Packaged: 2019-11-14 07:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18047792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yukitsubute/pseuds/Dandelion
Summary: These nights never stop...Tony wakes up, his breath irregular, his whole body tensing. And there are only two people on earth who can help him getting out of this.





	Dark clouds all around me

**Author's Note:**

> This is my second ironstrange bingo story. I hope you enjoy it, prompt was hurt and comfort.

Tony sat at the edge of his bed. He leaned forward, trying to regulate his breath with slow and deep breaths, but no matter what he tried, he couldn’t calm down. His blinked a few times, but everything around him didn’t stop spinning. His eyes got teary and everything around him seemed blurring. There was this dark hole again, this urgent feeling to just closing his eyes and dying right here and now was there again. He felt darkness surrounding him, taking all his life spirit away.

 

“Tony?” He heard a soft voice behind him. It was like the voice was cutting the dark shadows to get through to him, but it didn’t reach him completely. The heavy black wall was still on him, pressing on his chest to make breathing even more difficult. He couldn’t move, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t. His body wasn’t reacting to his wish to move back to the bed, to be surrounded by his blankets and the man next to him. “Tony?” The voice resounded again.

 

Oh please, could this person just pull him out of his frozen state. He couldn’t react on his own. He was stuck. He felt a warm hand on his shoulder and circles of hot waves spread in his upper body. It was like the touch brought his body partly back to life. “Need your warmth Stephen,” Tony pressed out. These words were hard to say, he still felt like something was pressing on his throat, preventing him to get back to his normal self.

 

Tony could feel Stephen shifting. He felt him behind him, and suddenly his arms were wrapped around Tony. His bare chest pressed against Tony’s bare back, making him feel the man’s warmth spreading on his skin. His hands grasped for Tony’s, holding them tightly.

 

Slowly Tony felt his muscles relaxing. He concentrated on the regular breath behind him. He tried to breathe in sync with Stephen. He had his head rested on Tony’s shoulder, whispering encouraging words at Tony. “Breathe, love, breathe. In and out, slowly. That’s good. You can make it, calm down.” Stephen peppered kisses on Tony’s shoulder and neck. “Come back to me, Tony. Leave the darkness and come back, love.”

 

Tony tried to take a deep breath, and after two tries he could feel the knot in his throat vanishing and he was able to finally take a deep breath. “Good, love, good. Take another deep breath. You can do it. Breathe for me, Tony.” Stephen’s words were like a mantra for Tony. His dark and calm voice could do everything to Tony. It was his private hypnosis.  Tony filled his stomach with air and released it with a deep sigh. It felt good – the fresh air felt reliving his tired body. The fog around his eyes disappeared, but tears were still dropping down his cheeks.

 

“I can’t,” Tony suddenly said. His throat got tighter again and his breath got faster again. The short calmness disappeared in between seconds. What would he do if Stephen would leave him? Who would calm him down? Who would care about him? It was the biggest fear he had in his life – not that he’d be alone in general, but to be without Stephen. He would be alone with his fear and his panic, and no one would be able to help him getting out of it.

 

“Tony, love, listen to me. I am here, okay? I am not going anywhere. I promised to stay here. Do you feel this?” Stephen pressed Tony’s ring finger. “It’s our bond. I promised to stay at your side. Remember?”

 

Tony could feel the cold metal being moved by Stephen. The ring – they had made their vow to stay together, but what if…? But Stephen seemed to know exactly what to say to him. “There is no chance I will let you go, Tony.” Tony had the feeling that Stephen pressed him closer against his body. Not that he’d complain about it. He loved the feeling of being protected, especially when he was in this vulnerable state.

 

He tried to lean against Stephen, to close every tiny gap between them. He felt so save and loved every time he touched Stephen. Slowly his fear began to get less again. Maybe now he’d come out of this state. “Peter,” he gasped.

 

“Is with Ned. He sleeps at his place,” Stephen whispered in his ear. “They play computer games all night.” Stephen kissed Tony’s cheek. “He is perfectly fine, and no one will do something to him. Shall I call him?”

 

Tony nodded. He didn’t want to control Peter, but he was afraid that something might happen to him again. That he would lose Peter again. It was the same fear he had with Stephen. Both were his family, his one and only. He couldn’t lose them.

 

“I will call him.” For a moment it got cold around Tony. Stephen robbed back to the other side of the bed, and was back in almost no time, but it felt already cold around and inside Tony. Stephen was back behind him, his welcoming warmth spreading through Tony again. “Peter?” Stephen said, the mobile in his hands. Its display was shining and Peter’s photo was shown all over the display.

 

“Doctor dad?” Tony had to smile. He had no idea when Peter had started calling Stephen like that. This tiny words and Peter’s voice made Tony calm down.

 

“I just wanted to know if you arrived safely at Ned’s house.” Stephen asked. Of course Peter knew about Tony’s health issues, and most probably because of that he was never mad about Stephen’s calls.

 

“Sure, we ordered some pizza and play need for speed all night long,” Peter said. “I will be at home for lunch tomorrow, dad.” Tony knew Peter was only talking to him, because he just wanted to let Tony know that he was alright and that he would be back at home soon.

 

“Perfect, Petey, thank you,” Stephen said before he hung up. “See, he is alright,” Stephen said to Tony. “And he will be back at home tomorrow. No one is going to leave, Tony. No one will ever disappear again, okay?”

 

Tony nodded slowly. His body relaxed more and more and he leaned against Stephen who wrapped his arms around Tony to hold him in a tight embrace. “The fog surrounds me,” Tony was finally able to say. He hated to be like this. He had never been vulnerable, but the last months had broken him.

 

“Listen closely, Tony,” Stephen started. “The fog isn’t a wall, walk through it. You can make it. We are here for you – not only Peter and I, but also your friends. Everyone wants you to be alright again, and everyone cares about you.”

 

“I feel stuck in a dark black hole. No one can ever bring me out of it,” Tony said. He had his eyes closed and leaned his head back against Stephen’s chest.

 

“Love, your last panic attack was three months ago, it becomes less. No one awaits that it’ll

stop from today to tomorrow, but it gets better, right?”

 

Stephen was right – his panic attacks got more irregular and rarer. Was it really a step in the right direction? Was it really getting better? Would he become the old Tony Stark again? “I wonder how you are able to bear with me?” Tony knew he sounded full of self-pity, something he hated most with other people, but he couldn’t help slipping into this mode.

 

“You have got a nice ass,” Stephen said with a laugh. It made Tony smile. Step by step the dark fog lightened and Tony was back in the apartment the view over the city spreading in front of his big windows.

 

“I think I am back.” Tony turned his face to the side to look at Stephen. He was still in Stephen’s tight embrace, and he didn’t want to move to soon from this position. It was his save haven, especially after a panic attack like this. “I love you, Stephen.” He brushed Stephen’s cheek. “And not only your ass,” he added with a chuckle. Tiredness almost overwhelmed him in this second and he could tell that Stephen wasn’t less tired.

 

“Welcome back, Tony.” Stephen kissed his nose. “I won’t let you go back in this black hole soon again, Anthony,” he added firmly. “And you better listen to me. You stay with me here, okay?”

 

Tony nodded. There was nothing he would love to do more than that. “I try to listen to you,” Tony promised.

 

“Good, I love you too, Tony,” Stephen said, his lips brushing over Tony’s before he kissed him, and Tony let himself being pulled in the world he loved most, he called it his personal Stephen world – or family, just that at this part Peter wasn’t part of the family,… …

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
